“Completing the Cycle”
Quarantine Collection
2021
Similiar to my depression, admitting that anxiety was part of my life was a pill I did not want to swallow. I pride myself in being a very laid back, easy going person. Not afraid to try new things, even when unqualified and unprepared. You could often hear the phrase “everything will turn out ok” coming from my lips. But when the world suddenly changed in March of 2020, that laissez faire attitude flew out the window.
Suddenly I was unemployed, isolated from friends and family, and frightened by the thought of leaving the house. Even when I had cabin fever and wanted to break free, the burden of possibly catching this deadly virus was always on my mind. Should I be wiping every grocery item down with Lysol before putting it away? Will I be shamed for posting this selfie my friends and I took outside at the park?
Overthinking became my normal way of thinking as I tried to navigate these uncharted waters. I thought if I could imagine every outcome of a given situation, I would somehow have more control. I would be prepared for anything, because anything could happen.
I started second guessing myself. Pair my interest in psychology with finally going to therapy for the first time, I found myself overanalyzing all my thoughts. To many of us, the lockdown felt like we all had to go to our rooms and think about what we’d done. And boy did I do just that.
Admitting that I was experiencing anxiety felt like denying a part of my identity. I was not an anxious person. But then when I stepped back and looked at what I was going through, of course I was anxious. We are all experiencing collective trauma right now. We are surviving a pandemic during the age of information, and life has never felt more unpredictable.
So one night I was alone in my new studio, feeling anxious over all the changes that were happening. I was going through a lot at the time. After the election I started feeling intense pain in my side, the doctor told me I had shingles. Something that only affects young people when their immune system is weak. Not something you necessarily want to hear during a pandemic. I was also dealing with friends and roommates moving away, pressure from the holidays, deeper work in therapy, and I’d gotten laid off a second time after returning to work. I had a lot of pent up energy and not in a good way. So, I grabbed a panel out of my closet and started smearing some paint on it.
Wood isn’t my first choice to paint on like this but I didn’t have a canvas handy at the time. I decided to go for it anyway, and the stress seemed to just melt away. There is something about aggressively painting an abstract piece that helped me release that pent up energy. And since I painted it on a panel, it opened up new possibilities to experiment with resin. This piece then turned into an opportunity to play and try out new ideas.
When I look at “Completing the Cycle”, it reminds me that I am capable of using my anxiety as fuel for better things. I completed the stress cycle by picking up a brush and created something unique. I was also able to release some ideas I had with layering resin and alcohol ink. I think my favorite part is how the neon green fades into that dusty blue. I really love how it turned out and I hope it inspires you to release your anxiety in a creative way too.
12”x12” Acrylic, Alcohol Ink, and Resin on Wood
Quarantine Collection
2021
Similiar to my depression, admitting that anxiety was part of my life was a pill I did not want to swallow. I pride myself in being a very laid back, easy going person. Not afraid to try new things, even when unqualified and unprepared. You could often hear the phrase “everything will turn out ok” coming from my lips. But when the world suddenly changed in March of 2020, that laissez faire attitude flew out the window.
Suddenly I was unemployed, isolated from friends and family, and frightened by the thought of leaving the house. Even when I had cabin fever and wanted to break free, the burden of possibly catching this deadly virus was always on my mind. Should I be wiping every grocery item down with Lysol before putting it away? Will I be shamed for posting this selfie my friends and I took outside at the park?
Overthinking became my normal way of thinking as I tried to navigate these uncharted waters. I thought if I could imagine every outcome of a given situation, I would somehow have more control. I would be prepared for anything, because anything could happen.
I started second guessing myself. Pair my interest in psychology with finally going to therapy for the first time, I found myself overanalyzing all my thoughts. To many of us, the lockdown felt like we all had to go to our rooms and think about what we’d done. And boy did I do just that.
Admitting that I was experiencing anxiety felt like denying a part of my identity. I was not an anxious person. But then when I stepped back and looked at what I was going through, of course I was anxious. We are all experiencing collective trauma right now. We are surviving a pandemic during the age of information, and life has never felt more unpredictable.
So one night I was alone in my new studio, feeling anxious over all the changes that were happening. I was going through a lot at the time. After the election I started feeling intense pain in my side, the doctor told me I had shingles. Something that only affects young people when their immune system is weak. Not something you necessarily want to hear during a pandemic. I was also dealing with friends and roommates moving away, pressure from the holidays, deeper work in therapy, and I’d gotten laid off a second time after returning to work. I had a lot of pent up energy and not in a good way. So, I grabbed a panel out of my closet and started smearing some paint on it.
Wood isn’t my first choice to paint on like this but I didn’t have a canvas handy at the time. I decided to go for it anyway, and the stress seemed to just melt away. There is something about aggressively painting an abstract piece that helped me release that pent up energy. And since I painted it on a panel, it opened up new possibilities to experiment with resin. This piece then turned into an opportunity to play and try out new ideas.
When I look at “Completing the Cycle”, it reminds me that I am capable of using my anxiety as fuel for better things. I completed the stress cycle by picking up a brush and created something unique. I was also able to release some ideas I had with layering resin and alcohol ink. I think my favorite part is how the neon green fades into that dusty blue. I really love how it turned out and I hope it inspires you to release your anxiety in a creative way too.
12”x12” Acrylic, Alcohol Ink, and Resin on Wood
Quarantine Collection
2021
Similiar to my depression, admitting that anxiety was part of my life was a pill I did not want to swallow. I pride myself in being a very laid back, easy going person. Not afraid to try new things, even when unqualified and unprepared. You could often hear the phrase “everything will turn out ok” coming from my lips. But when the world suddenly changed in March of 2020, that laissez faire attitude flew out the window.
Suddenly I was unemployed, isolated from friends and family, and frightened by the thought of leaving the house. Even when I had cabin fever and wanted to break free, the burden of possibly catching this deadly virus was always on my mind. Should I be wiping every grocery item down with Lysol before putting it away? Will I be shamed for posting this selfie my friends and I took outside at the park?
Overthinking became my normal way of thinking as I tried to navigate these uncharted waters. I thought if I could imagine every outcome of a given situation, I would somehow have more control. I would be prepared for anything, because anything could happen.
I started second guessing myself. Pair my interest in psychology with finally going to therapy for the first time, I found myself overanalyzing all my thoughts. To many of us, the lockdown felt like we all had to go to our rooms and think about what we’d done. And boy did I do just that.
Admitting that I was experiencing anxiety felt like denying a part of my identity. I was not an anxious person. But then when I stepped back and looked at what I was going through, of course I was anxious. We are all experiencing collective trauma right now. We are surviving a pandemic during the age of information, and life has never felt more unpredictable.
So one night I was alone in my new studio, feeling anxious over all the changes that were happening. I was going through a lot at the time. After the election I started feeling intense pain in my side, the doctor told me I had shingles. Something that only affects young people when their immune system is weak. Not something you necessarily want to hear during a pandemic. I was also dealing with friends and roommates moving away, pressure from the holidays, deeper work in therapy, and I’d gotten laid off a second time after returning to work. I had a lot of pent up energy and not in a good way. So, I grabbed a panel out of my closet and started smearing some paint on it.
Wood isn’t my first choice to paint on like this but I didn’t have a canvas handy at the time. I decided to go for it anyway, and the stress seemed to just melt away. There is something about aggressively painting an abstract piece that helped me release that pent up energy. And since I painted it on a panel, it opened up new possibilities to experiment with resin. This piece then turned into an opportunity to play and try out new ideas.
When I look at “Completing the Cycle”, it reminds me that I am capable of using my anxiety as fuel for better things. I completed the stress cycle by picking up a brush and created something unique. I was also able to release some ideas I had with layering resin and alcohol ink. I think my favorite part is how the neon green fades into that dusty blue. I really love how it turned out and I hope it inspires you to release your anxiety in a creative way too.
12”x12” Acrylic, Alcohol Ink, and Resin on Wood